Monthly Archives: November 2019

Audience Etiquette

Taylor Cook
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One afternoon The Old Lady shivered in a chilly wind at a local outdoor wingding while a young musician named Taylor Cook played guitar and sang.

His fingers must have been freezing. Nobody was paying him much attention; they were all in full conversational party mode. And still he sang on, because that’s what he does whether anybody’s listening or not.

The Old Lady listened, not just because Taylor Cook is an excellent and entertaining performer, and applauded at the end of every song even though it feels rather foolish to be the only person clapping. Because, you know, that’s what she does.

“Anybody who’s got the guts to get up on stage and perform,” she observed, “deserves our attention, support, and encouragement.”

LISTEN TO The Old Lady!

Many Miracles

The Old Lady begs your pardon in advance; this entry is much longer than usual but some readers wanted details that require more space to clarify.


The Ford outside
Took a mighty hit.
The Ford inside
Wasn’t hurt a bit.
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This is what happened:

I was traveling in the right-hand lane of a two-lane road. As I approached the intersection a gray minivan crossing the highway from my left stopped briefly at the STOP sign… then pulled across in front of my truck which was moving at about 55 mph. I braked and swung to the left, avoiding a direct broadside hit, but still clipped the back end of the van. I skidded into a guard rail on the right corner of the intersection. The van fled the scene.

Here are the miracles, listed in chronological order:

Had I arrived one second sooner or later to the accident scene the outcome would have been considerably different, to wit:

  1. One Second Sooner – the Golden Dragon would have t-boned the Errant Minivan. In fact, for the first second after the van crossed over my lane in front of me I thought that would happen, staring at the broad side of the thing as I stood on the brakes and spun the wheel to the left. But it was enough to skid me out of a direct hit. One Second Sooner would have resulted in that direct hit, with all the appalling details that a direct hit entails.

2. One Second Later – I would still have been skidding left as the minivan moved to the right, but if my right front had not hit the van’s right rear my Dragon would have continued her sideways skid into the center median where the dirt was soft because of a recent rain. I aced Physics in high school and spent years shooting competitive billiards; I understand vectors of force. IF the Dragon had skidded sideways into the soft center median she would have turned over; at the speed we were moving she might have flipped several times as she is a light truck. As you can see, another possible outcome with, ahem, potentially deadly results.

The reality comes down to this: by skidding left I avoided direct collision, and by NOT missing collision entirely but just clipping the van’s right rear that slowed my forward speed a bit – AND it pulled the Dragon out of the leftward skid – AND aimed her DIRECTLY into the guard rail on the right corner of the intersection, which brings us to Miracle Number

3. As the Dragon skidded nose-first into the guard rail the steel barrier GAVE in response to the onslaught. The posts holding the guard rail pulled out of the rain-softened ground and fell over. The impact if stopped abruptly after only a few inches would have been traumatic; instead the forward force was first slowed and then stopped, spread over about two feet. That reduced the impact of the impact, if you see what I mean. More bluntly, if the guard rail had not GIVEN the Dragon and her passenger would have GOTTEN it much worse.

So it actually is a miracle that the Dragon hit the Minivan, in exactly the manner that it did.

4. The Errant Minivan did not stop after our collision but sped around a curve and disappeared. Now, you may not call that a miracle but I do, because obviously this is not somebody I want to deal with right after a crisis. I got out and looked at the Dragon smooshed up against the guard rail – TRAUMATIC! – I thought I’d totaled my truck.  Next, I took stock of myself and – ECSTATIC! – I was not injured in any way! Even my neck felt fine, although I did then fall into a fit of the shakes, as one does at such times, which brings us to Miracle Number

5. A car pulled over and a lady got out calling “Are you all right?” I told her that I was, TxB2Gd, I was not hurt, and I burst into tears and she hugged me and prayed out loud, thanking the Lord that “what coulda woulda shoulda happened to this child did NOT happen, dear Lord, and we thank you.”

And that, I am convinced, is why I wasn’t even sore the morning after the accident. That lady helped me to release all the stress hormones my body had built up during the crisis.

In fact, this may be the most valuable part of my experience, the hug after the accident which made me feel safe enough to burst into tears for a moment of release.

I teach a practice called Laughter Yoga in which laughing is used as an intentional technique to release negative emotions – and crying is very close to laughter, physiologically. Anyway, I gained a fresh perspective on the laughter practice.

6. An hour before the accident I had taken a yoga class. If you are going to get in an accident, be sure to take a yoga class first! LISTEN to The Old Lady! My body was relaxed and flexible, and sailed through the crisis with flying colors!

7. And miracle of miracles, the Golden Dragon is drivable! My trusted mechanic assures me that all is well under the hood, and have I mentioned my deep gratitude to those who design guard rails to yield in response to impact, thereby minimizing damage?

The headlights both work, so I am legal. The front end is crunched in pressing on the condenser and the turn signals are smashed. Just to straighten it up so turn signals can be replaced and a new bumper installed (could’ve left that off, but having just seen how the bumper helped protect me I figured it was worth replacing) is close to $2,000. We did not even discuss that the passenger door no longer opens; that doesn’t seem important right now. I have some concerns about the tires and wheels after that noisy skid but will look into all that later. It will be some time before I can save up enough to begin repairs, so I am most grateful that the Dragon is drivable.

All in all, the accident turned out to be a valuable learning experience!

The scene of the crime