Monthly Archives: July 2015

Lorenzo’s Rules: Lord of the Ninth Underworld

Lorenzos Rules

An old friend of the Old Lady has just published a novel titled Lorenzo’s Rules: Lord of the Ninth Underworld.

All bias aside (Stewart Stearns is a really nice guy; read his bio on the book jacket below), the Old Lady highly recommends his work of historical fiction.Lorenzos Rules image

The Old Lady loves a good read, and this is a gripping story.

The Old Lady loves learning stuff, and this book is rich with information about ancient Mayan religious beliefs and practices as well as about Guatemala, its people, and its history. If you read the bio you’ll see that Stewart has the cred to write accurately about all that based on his personal experience.

The Old Lady loves people who care, and as you can also read for yourself below Stewart is using proceeds from the book to “… benefit human rights organizations currently operating in Guatemala.” Classy move.

Find the book on Amazon.Lorenzos Rules back

Ya Never Know

Bryan Gay at the tap
Bryan Gay at the tap

At Ashley Street Station late on a Sunday night, ya never know what you’re gonna find, like the hardest-working bar owner in town pulling beers.


The lead singer for a band called hashtagholygrail said they’re from Snake Nation. They put in a short but enthusiastic set of gratifying headbanging.

Catching her breath, the Old Lady sat at the bar watching some random baseball game. The Old Lady considers any game which does not involve the Braves to be random. The Old Lady knows only two teams: one is the Braves, and the other is not.

All of a sudden she found herself in the middle of a frat party. Sherbet-colored polo shirts and shots in plastic cups swam before her befuddled eyes. Then one of her favorite punk bands hit the stage restoring some semblance of normality, or what the Old Lady considers normality.DSCF8546DSCF8550Sin has a raw Old School edge with energy to spare. Jimi always gives an athletic performance which in no way inhibits his skill with the guitar and Anthony backs him up with a powerful beat. DSCF8554DSCF8555DSCF8556DSCF8557DSCF8558

Sin has made a new video.  Friend’em on Fb and maybe they’ll let you see it.DSCF8568DSCF8570

Last on tonight’s bill, Chilled Monkey Brains was worth waiting for. Two trombones anchor their ska sound but the band bleed into hardcore with some Zappa-esque riffs and a touch of progressive rock. They’ve been on tour and are on their way back home to Tallahassee.


Dead End Dreams


LIVING THE DEAD END DREAM is the title of Beware the Neverending’s newly released EP, so called for the people who consider living the life of a musician to be a “dead end dream.”

... and inside.
… and inside.


People who, in various ways, might be considered by others to be living a “dead end dream” (including the Old Lady herself!) filled the room at the Valdosta CD release party. Shout out to Vinyl Destination Graphics (just across the parking lot from the Gold Plate Restaurant) for providing the space!DSCF8364DSCF8365DSCF8369DSCF8394DSCF8409DSCF8418DSCF8413DSCF8378DSCF8421

Bands including Landfill (Jacksonville, FL), Sordid Earnings (Warner Robins, GA), After Me the Flood (Atlanta/Warner Robins/Nashville/Thomasville), and Dying Whale (Valdosta) performed in celebration of BTN’s CD… and, just because they WANTED to, that’s what they DO, folks, they’re MUSICIANS dammit living out their dreams and we should all not only applaud their efforts but BUY THEIR STUFF so that they can keep on doing it right there in front of us. ‘Nuff said. You know how to search these bands, listen, and decide if their music if to your taste, and if it is you know how to send them money for something.DSCF8352

Can metal really make your head explode?
Can metal really make your head explode?
Head explosion prevention gear.
Head explosion prevention gear.

But this party, and the night, belonged to Valdosta’s own Beware the Neverending . The band delivered a heavy hardcore performance of the EP cuts along with an encore version of Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi done metal-style (after much begging from the audience; NOBODY wanted the night to end!).DSCF8440DSCF8485DSCF8493DSCF8499

You can check out the full stream of the EP LIVING THE DEAD END DREAM at and if you like it you can help prove to Beware the Neverending that theirs is NOT a “dead end dream” by ponying up some cash to buy a copy, or some merch. Find the hard copies here:


"BUY our *&$# CD!"
“BUY our *&$# CD!”

Dirty Bird Goes to the Dogs

Lake Dogs logo

“There’s live local music all over this corner of south Georgia,” the Old Lady continued, “if you only keep your eyes and ears open, you can’t help but find some.”

At Lake Dogs, for instance.

Lake Dogs is in Lake Park, right at the intersection of US 41 and Lakes Boulevard and just across the highway from Long Pond.

Artist Lukas Rushlow shows off his dog.
Artist Lukas Rushlow shows off his dog.

At Lake Dogs, they serve up the best hot dogs in the bottom end of the state, and this Thursday night the menu also featured a low country boil with a side of dirty blues served up by Dirty Bird and his roomie Dabbit Nabbit.

Dirty Bird
Dirty Bird
Dabbit Nabbit
Dabbit Nabbit

When these guys get down, their music just hollers front porch and mason jars of moonshine. Dirty Bird has an assertive gravelly voice and picks an acoustic guitar like he means it. Dabbit Nabbit slides up and down the strings of his electric ax with a light sweet touch. Their original songs come straight from their hearts and lives. The Old Lady especially liked “Chickin’ Pickin’”, written by Dabbit’s brother Jim (may Light perpetual shine upon him) and a song about Daddy who was busted for selling “the marijuana… he wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last, to go to prison for selling a little grass.”

These guys are for real, and they are real good. It would be a real good idea for you to go see’em when you can.


Nothing to Do?


A young Southern belle sez to the Old Lady, she sez: “There’s nothing to do in Valdosta. You have to drive to Atlanta or Tallahassee to have yourself a big time.”

Au contraire, ma cherie!

That’s French for “the Old Lady begs to differ, chickie.”

So the Old Lady and the Golden Dragon (RIP Purple Dragon, may Light perpetual shine upon her) set out on a Saturday evening to prove her wrong.

Here is what they found:


Sam Jamwich on the patio...
Sam Jamwich on the patio…
... and inside, the John Sutton Band.
… and inside, the John Sutton Band.
Outside a family plays a beanbag game.
Outside a family plays a beanbag game.


The deviled crabs are delicious!
The deviled crabs are delicious!


Plenty of pool tables in the game room.
Plenty of pool tables in the game room.
Metal band Hot Barrel 45.
Metal band Hot Barrel 45.
The merch table for one of the other two bands who played later.
The merch table for one of the other two bands who played later.






There's always skywatching.
There’s always skywatching.


The Oily Life

DSCF8264The Old Lady has some passing interest in herbs and essential oils; she has used oregano oil for healing, frankincense to reduce anxiety, and rosemary oil in an effort to improve her memory (except that she can’t remember where she put the bottle).

But Valdosta has a resident expert, your friend in the oil field as it were. Mary Clement along with her husband Frank retired from the Air Force, settled in a neighborhood near Moody AFB, and set out to establish a healthier lifestyle for their family. Essential oils fit nicely into that effort, and they started a company called Four Seasons Oils (affiliated with Young Living) that not only distributes essential oils along with herb- and oil-based products but also offers education on how these substances can help others live happier, healthier lives.Oils of Ancient ScriptureMary walked the Old Lady through an entire day of uses for essential oils: aromatherapy to assist meditation, essential oil-based toothpaste along with other health and beauty products, seasonings for food, cleaning products… the list of uses for plant-based products goes on and on. And just as a plant-based diet is healthier for our bodies, these plant-based products are healthy alternatives that can replace the many toxic chemicals used in homes that damage our bodies as well as the planet.DSCF8262Sound interesting? Check out their Facebook page (Four Seasons Oils) or their website at where you can learn about upcoming classes. Or you can call Mary and Frank Clement at 229-588-0373; they love to talk about how they have created a happier, healthier, and more financially stable lifestyle. Find out how they can coach you in your efforts to do the same.oily life

Danny and the Jets

DSCF8223The Old Lady is not in the habit of hanging out at the Elks Lodge; she is, in fact, a longtime member of the Loyal Order of the Moose.

But the nearest Moose Lodge is in Moultrie, and the Valdosta Elks (Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks or B.P.O.E., which the Old Lady has always pronounced as “beep-oh”) hold dinners with live music.


DSCF8222On this night Danny and the Jets played. The Old Lady has eavesdropped as the band practices at the Senior Center right next to the pool room, so she knows they’re good. But they are so much better in performance than practice! You gotta hear this band live!DSCF8233Danny and the Jets cover all the best oldies… only the solid gold from the stacks of wax that “Skinny Bobby Harper” was spinning on Atlanta’s WQXI “Quixie in Dixie”. The Old Lady mentally tuned her dial again to 790 on the AM radio in her black 1960 VW bug, and rocked out.

Yes, kiddies, that was not only last century but last MILLENIUM.

DSCF8225DSCF8226DSCF8232The sounds of the Temptations, B.B. King, Ike & Tina and more got the crowd off their seats and on their feets.DSCF8236DSCF8234DSCF8239Great music, nice people, good fun… that’s Danny and the Jets.

The famous DANNY!
The famous DANNY!


DSCF8192The Salty Snapper in Valdosta, Georgia, is filling the old Creekside Tavern’s building again with good food and live music.

Joe Smothers
Joe Smothers
Blues Night
Blues Night
The Remedy
The Remedy
Dirty Bird & the Flu
Dirty Bird & the Flu

‘Most any night in July and August you’ll hear local favorites playing either outside on the patio (The Buoy Bar… the Old Lady could not find the Gull’s Bar) or inside in the dining room (The Sand Bar). Here’s next week’s lineup:

July 6- Tanner Strickland 6-9

July 8- Cosmic Voice 6-9
July 9- Kevin & Leah 6-9
July 10- 2 River Station 7-11
July 11- Mark & Mark 7-11
July 12- Joe Smothers 6-9

And the FOOD! Don’t forget to order FOOD! The Old Lady has developed a particular fondness for the Lima Bean Hummus and the Edamame with Old Bay seasoning. The shrimp are NOT shrimpy but the crab cakes are, well, very crabby. Tip: when asked “which sides?” check out the Vegetable of the Day because this kitchen uses fresh local produce to produce gourmet dishes that satisfy and delight.

EAT LOCAL! LISTEN LOCAL! Tip musicians and waitpeople well. Keep YOUR cash in YOUR community!Keep it Local


Summer on Fox Mountain


The Old Lady loves her some Fox Mountain Camp and Artist Retreat.DSCF8163DSCF8164DSCF8165DSCF8164Now she loves her some Steff Mahan, too.DSCF8175Steff brought her guitar, her painfully real songs, and her heart to Fox Mountain where a rain-soaked and sparse crowd of happy campers welcomed her joyfully. DSCF8177Accompanied by the most picturesque dog the Old Lady has ever seen on stage, Steff poured out her soul to the earth and sky. Her songs of love and loss touch deeply, with hooky lines that grab the ear.DSCF8178

Jana & Sherrie have booked live music for Fox Mountain Campground and Artist Retreat once every month through the summer. For the schedule check the Facebook page.DSCF8171