Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Mickee Faust Club

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Tonight the Old Lady enjoyed a truly bizarre performance.

(NOTE: Performances don’t have to be bizarre to appeal to the Old Lady, but it certainly helps.)

The Mickee Faust Club in Tallahassee, Florida, is in its twenty-seventh year of performing “community theatre for the weird community” which certainly hits the Old Lady’s demographic.

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Tonight’s show titled “Queer as Faust VII” included a song-and-dance number about the “A-Gays”, an original video about the gay threat to traditional marriages, and a death metal performance titled “Heterosexual Extinction” that involved the abuse of stuffed animals.   A song titled “The Trouble with Andre” told the story of a man who cross-dresses in the privacy of his home but who has to lose the dress and don “business drag” to appear in public; the refrain is “The trouble with Andre is he lies” and this piece broke the Old Lady’s heart.  More upbeat was the skit “Telling Mom” in which a young man imagines all the worst case scenarios of coming out to his mother, but when he actually does he finds that she reacts by embracing him and saying “Finally!”
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While at the Mickee Faust Club, the Old Lady met artist Nancy who took her on a private tour of the art that Nancy has created to adorn the inside and outside of the clubhouse.

Titled "How Baby Rats Are Made."  It's subtle, but note how the late evening sun casts a real shadow strategically onto the painted shadow.
Titled “How Baby Rats Are Made.” It’s subtle, but note how the late evening sun casts a real shadow strategically onto the painted shadow.

The Mickee Faust Club is a little like a cousin of the Capitol Steps, that eccentric cousin who moved to Florida and came out and is subject to hallucinations and spiritual visions tempered with borderline mental illness caused by pollution from overpopulation, overdevelopment,  and corporate exploitation.

It’s worth a drive to Tallahassee.  Find out about their upcoming performances at http://www.mickeefaust.com/

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ElderFest 2014

DSCF4120               “There ain’t no such thing as too much fun, or too much metal.” — The Old Lady

ElderFest 2014 at the Valdosta Wake Compound was a BLAST!  So many bands,  please forgive the Old Lady because she could not keep up with who was who and as the Bud kicked in, quite frankly, some of her photos sucked.  So, if a picture is worth a thousand words… here’s several thousand words:

DSCF4116DSCF4110DSCF4083DSCF4084DSCF4086DSCF4087DSCF4095DSCF4099DSCF4109DSCF4111DSCF4126DSCF4136DSCF4118DSCF4079DSCF4080DSCF4142DSCF4143DSCF4091DSCF4088DSCF4148DSCF4144DSCF4168DSCF4166DSCF4186DSCF4160DSCF4180DSCF4161DSCF4183   DSCF4182DSCF4178                  A big SHOUT OUT to Keven,  who worked his ass off to put ElderFest together and who is not only a great guitar player, he is a real trooper in the old school “SHOW MUST GO ON” tradition… if you were there, you know what this means.
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THE OLD LADY LOVES ALL THE BANDS!  SUPPORT LIVE LOCAL MUSIC!

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Summer Music on the Farm

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Summer.  Evening.  Live music.  In the country.

Everything the Old Lady loves.

The show tonight was on a farm, somewhere between Thomasville and Coolidge, Georgia.  There were maybe fifty people there, max.  Five local bands, playing on the back deck of somebody’s parents’ house.

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<lessthan3

Kicking it all off was <lessthan3, which is the name under which Raymond Estes of Tallahassee performs.  This 17-year-old with an acoustic guitar is full of teenage angst, writing and singing songs of heartbreak and unrequited love, and he is excellent.  A little more hardcore than folk, but lowkey nonetheless.  Raymond is looking for venues in Tallahassee; find him on Facebook and offer him a gig!

Alyssa SeRine...
Alyssa SeRine…

 

... with Caroline Kelly
… with Caroline Kelly on phone.

Alyssa SeRine borrowed Raymond’s guitar, because she misplaced her power cord and couldn’t bring her keyboard.  She has a sweet folky sound, but she can rap too.  The Old Lady especially liked her rap about the old video game Zelda for which Alyssa was accompanied by herself on keyboard doing chords based on the game soundtrack, recorded and played back on her phone which was held to the mic by her friend Caroline Kelly.  Kewl.

ROBOTURNER
ROBOTURNER

ROBOTURNER then took the stage.  Literally.  This Moultrie group is flatout hardcore, no apologies.  This was when the pit opened up and the crowd got crazy.  You can hear a sample at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Qb0jCDKG0&app=desktop  or, you can hear ROBOTURNER live tomorrow at the ElderFest – Outdoor Metal Festival at the Valdosta Wake Compound (exit 13 off I-75, Saturday June 21 2014, 1 p.m., don’t miss it because the Old Lady sure as heck won’t miss it!).

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Koctok
Koctok

Koctok is a brand new band, consisting of well-known local Kelby Clark on guitar and new-in-town Bradley Gandy on drums.  SUPER combination!  The Old Lady came about as close as she has lately to jumping into the pit herself when these guys played.  AND, she likes their philosophy.

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DSCF4055Keep an eye on Koctok!  They are sure to make their mark!

Stay Home
Stay Home

Last on the bill was Stay Home, the hosting band.  Pure punk, just like the Old Lady likes it, hard and sweaty and full of love.    You can check out an acoustic version of their “Broken Glass” at https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=686946308019945&set=vb.643551205692789&type=2&theater but you really need to hear them live.

South Georgia is the best kept secret on the national scene, a music mecca!

SUPPORT LIVE LOCAL MUSIC!  LISTEN TO THE OLD LADY!

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Hardcore Happiness

HOT, HEAVY, HARDCORE!
HOT, HEAVY, HARDCORE!

“DO THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, OTHERWISE YOU WIND UP WORKING FOR SOMEBODY ELSE’S DREAMS!”

The lead singer for Nebraska Bricks was screaming it, and everybody at Elder House was doing it!

Hot summer nights are made for hardcore shows in the cramped quarters of Elder House.

CARRIER
CARRIER

Carrier kicked it off; they’re sorta south-Georgia local since they’re from Columbus and have been on tour with Nebraska Bricks for 35 days.  You’d think these guys would be fried by now, but oh no!  They’re ready to go!  And go they did!  “Just some gnarly, sweaty dudes” they say, but if you can’t savor the sweat in person then listen to a free sample at https://www.facebook.com/CarrierBand/app_178091127385

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Nebraska Bricks came on like a ton of their namesake bricks (their name comes from the title of a track on an album by Save the Day).  HOLD ON TO YOUR TRUTH! the singer shouted, then took hold of his own with both hands and slung it around the tiny room!  Their upcoming record is titled LIVE IN PAIN, DIE IN VAIN, but if you just can’t wait you can download their album REDEMPTION for free at https://www.facebook.com/CarrierBand/app_178091127385   Free, folks, that means no charge!

STRENGTHEN WHAT REMAINS with borrowed drums and a rented minivan, plus they laughed about it!  These guys are troopers!
STRENGTHEN WHAT REMAINS with borrowed drums and a rented minivan, plus they laughed about it! These guys are troopers!

Strengthen What Remains rolled in town in a rented minivan just in time for their set.  These guys are hitting the road for a several weeks’ long tour and their van immediately broke down in Tampa.  Still they showed up, no whining just killing it as they shared their tunes from the album TURNING A BLIND EYE which you can check out gratis (that’s another synonym for free) at https://www.facebook.com/strengthenwhatremains/app_204974879526524

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Sorry, MACHINIST! The Old Lady's camera ran out of battery power after this single sorry shot.  Y'all deserve better!
Sorry, MACHINIST! The Old Lady’s camera ran out of battery power after this single sorry shot. Y’all deserve better!

Then finally, the band the Old Lady has been waiting for!  Machinist doesn’t play locally much, they’re pretty much a touring band since only lead singer Jeff Hill lives in Valdosta.  And the homeboys hit home hard with their short fast to-the-point songs, even though by now Elder House was about a zillion degrees hot and the storm kept blowing the power out and Jeff had been working the door all night as well as spending weeks pulling this show together.  Get their albums digitally at http://machinistga.bandcamp.com/  and order the BIRTHRIGHT 7″ at http://constantrotation.bigcartel.com/   or listen to the METHTEETH album for nuthin’ (that means free, too; shouldn’t you have paid more attention to your English professor?) on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/machinistga/app_204974879526524

Jeff is a guy who DID pay attention to his English professor.

And, he’s probably the hardest working musician in town.  He plays, he promotes, he puts together shows… and he does it for the same reason they all do it, because he loves the music.

Machinist is fixing to go on tour.  If you didn’t turn up for this show, you missed out big time and you just ought to mail them a check to help make sure they eat while on the road.  Or hand the cash to Jeff; you can find him most nights working the door at Ashley Street Station.

All four of the bands on this show played for pretty much no more than gas money.  They do this because they love to play, they’d probably do it even if they had to pay to play!

SUPPORT LIVE LOCAL MUSIC!  IF YOU DON’T SHOW UP THEN YOU ARE JUST PRETENDING TO BE A FAN!  LISTEN TO THE OLD LADY!

 

 

 

Boot Envy

MY BOOTS

As far as the Old Lady is concerned being gay was never so much about gender and genitalia; rather, it’s about the boots.  She has boot envy.

The ones she really wanted were black Harley Davidson motorcycle boots, with steel toes and thick rubber soles.  The ones she got looked like work boots except that they were baby blue with white stitching (how precious!), and they were given to her by the mother of her now-ex-girlfriend.  Both ex and ex-mom-in-law were afraid that, left to her own devices, the Old Lady would look “too butch.”

Is there really any such thing?

When Nancy Sinatra sang “These boots are made for walking…” she was only partly right.  Boots are made for hiking, biking, climbing, marching, stomping, dancing, kicking ass!
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Boots aren’t just footwear.  Boots are attitude, a way of telling the world “Back off!  I can take care of myself!”

Wearing boots sends the Old Lady’s confidence level soaring.  She feels strong and capable.  She feels like she’s on her way… she may not know exactly where she’s going but she’s making great time in her boots!  And the scenery is wonderful!

TxB2Gd for BOOTS!

 

Snakes Alive!

The Old Lady got a dog sitting job.  The owner of the dogs had said she’d seen a snake in the fish pond out back, and that she thought it might be a cottonmouth (also known as water moccasin), a deadly snake indigenous to Georgia.

So the very first time the Old Lady took Shorty the Jack Russell Terrorist out the front door, THERE was the snake in plain view on the front lawn!  It’s a big one, about three feet long, and very thick (cottonmouths are often described as “fat” snakes).

Well, Shorty got hustled right back inside.

The Old Lady hustled back out for a better look.

She stood on the porch for awhile, looking at the snake which was looking at her.  Eyeball to eyeball with about six feet between them and close enough, the Old Lady was thinking.  She could not make out the shape of the head since it was facing her.

The snake slithered under some bushes and vanished as snakes are wont to do.

The dogs did get walked (out the back door) and when the Old Lady came out front to get in her truck to go to work, the snake peeked out at her from his hiding place inside a pipe under the bushes.  The Old Lady said “Bless you, Mr. Snake, for showing yourself to remind me to be extra careful in this yard.”  To which the snake made no reply.

After work, the Old Lady was walking Fluffy the French Bulldog (whose owner is convinced that she is a Boston Terrier but we’re not telling her she’s wrong).  There was a great commotion in the fish pond, and the Old Lady saw the snake thrashing and splashing in there with the big white koi fish in its jaws!  As she watched, the snake lifted the entire fish (which must weigh at least two pounds) COMPLETELY out of the water, a good six inches into the air!  What a sight!  But the fish was too big for the snake to swallow, so he let it go and vanished under some rocks.

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That was when she knew for sure that this is NOT a cottonmouth.  If he was a deadly snake, the fish would have died from the bite.  Probably a Florida Banded Water Snake, a neighbor told her.

The Old Lady is much relieved, and very grateful; grateful for having witnessed with her own eyes the failed assault on the fish which proved to her that the snake is not harmful to her or the little dogs, and grateful for having been granted a view of nature in the raw that she will never forget.

TxB2Gd!

The only pictures of the snake… sorry for the poor quality, the photographer is being thrown in the fishpond as punishment:

Snake 1

Snake 2

Look in the upper left quadrant.
Look in the upper left quadrant.